This article is focused on the following Sustainable Development Goals:
Over the past few months, a certain word began to circulate in popular social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok: simp. The word was originally meant to describe someone as a "silly or foolish person”, but now it has transformed into something that unwittingly obscures the ugly face of toxic masculinity.
Where have you heard someone being called a “simp”? Was it in the comment section of TikTok? Was it in a conversation with your friends? More importantly, why and how was the word used? It seems as though, rather appropriately, the context that surrounds the usage of the word “simp” drastically alters the delivery and meaning behind it.
Let’s take an example of one usage of the word “simp” that saturates social media platforms. Say you come across a TikTok created by someone you find attractive. You decide to check out the comment section and see what everyone else had to say about it. While scrolling, you notice countless comments that are more or less along the lines of “I’m simping”. In this specific instance, the word “simp” is being used as a verb, describing one’s attraction to a person and there seems to be no harm in using the word.
Here’s another example of the usage of the word “simp” that I, personally, came across earlier this year. In school, I heard some of my friends call each other simps, but I didn’t think very much of it. I mean, they were just a bunch of guys poking fun at each other. But one day, I remember a boy having a conversation with a couple of girls in class. While they continued to chatter about homework and college applications, one of the boy’s friends approached him and asked him to stop “simping”. What does that even mean? To me, it was pretty clear that the boy was just engaged in a lively conversation with a few girls in his class. There’s nothing wrong with that. So, why did the boy’s friend feel the need to tell him to stop “simping”?
When I went home later that evening, I scavenged the internet to find definitions of the word “simp”. After several visits to websites, I came across a source that defines a “simp” as someone “too attentive and submissive to women, especially out of a failed hope of winning some entitled sexual attention or activity from them” (Kelly). This is when I realized the usage of the word “simp” can cross the line from a playful joke to a subtle, yet malicious, comment on one’s masculinity. The following day, the boy who was called out for “simping” by his friends, just because he was talking to girls in his class, was overtly ignoring the girls in his class. It was clear that he did not want to seem weak and too “submissive” to girls, perpetuating this negative cycle of toxic masculinity.
As a young teenager in today’s society, it is almost natural for a boy (or anyone for that matter) to practice nurturing and developing healthy, meaningful relationships. But, it seems, they are forced to choose between two options: either they continue to act with genuine kindness and respect towards girls, consequently labeled as a “simp”, or they put on a tough face to fit in with their friends. Sadly, most boys choose the latter, contributing to the unhealthy continuation of toxic masculinity. It became apparent to me that the word “simp” constructs an unnecessary barrier that incites boys to act tough and macho, especially if they desire to be perceived as “manly” around their friends.
This is exactly what contributes to toxic masculinity - standards that are set for men by society, which results in the harmful perpetuation of conformity to traditional gender roles (Salter). It is this toxic masculinity that encourages boys to look down upon boys who speak up about their own emotions and display vulnerability. In fact, this may be the reason why in 2018, it was statistically shown that suicide in men was “3.56x more often than [suicide in] women” (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention). But, that would be a discussion for another article.
So, what do we do about this notion of “toxic masculinity”? This is an excellent question. I would argue that, currently, it is impossible to completely remove toxic masculinity from our society. Instead of trying to achieve immediate global change, why not start in our own communities? Our own friendships? In fact, just by reading this article, you are already taking your first step in helping to abolish toxic masculinity. Talk about it with your friends. Try to ask the people around you to stop using that word, especially if it is being used as an insult. Inform people about the harmful effects of calling someone a “simp”.
Before you finish reading this article, I want to ask you a small favor - when the word “simp” pops into your head, make sure you’re not using it to degrade acts of kindness. In reality, a simple change in your daily vocabulary is an integral part of catalyzing change in society.
It’s time to stop expecting boys to “man-up” and always act tough. It’s time to stop labeling a guy a “simp” when their act of “kindness” is a form of decency - it is is grossly misogynistic to believe that women deserve and receive respect only when it is beneficial for men. It’s time to allow men to be vulnerable and be open about their emotions. It is time, it is time, it is time.
And remember, change starts with you.
External Resources
Works Cited
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. “Suicide Statistics.” American Foundation for
Suicide Prevention, 29 July 2020, afsp.org/suicide-statistics/.
Kelly, John. “Simp .” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, 7 May 2020,
www.dictionary.com/e/slang/simp/#:~:text=Simp%20is%20a%20slang%20insult,attentio
n%20or%20activity%20from%20them.&text=The%20word%20simp%20is%20meant,som
e%20action%20he%20supposedly%20deserves.
Salter, Michael. “The Problem With a Fight Against Toxic Masculinity.” The Atlantic, Atlantic
Media Company, 19 June 2020, www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/02/toxic-
masculinity-history/583411/.
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